My favorite television genre is reality TV. Especially anything having to do with treasure hunting. My wife thinks it is ridiculous that I believe the Ark of the Covenant could have been transported by the Knights Templar to a remote island in Nova Scotia and buried deep below the ground to hide it from society. Okay, I don’t believe it’s the Ark of the covenant, but there is something buried on Oak Island.
My favorite of the reality shows is Gold Rush. Gold Rush: White Water, a spin of the original Gold Rush show. It aired the first of its three seasons on January 19, 2018. The show follows the adventure of a father and son duo, known as the “Dakota Boys” and their crew as they seek a fortune in gold. Their method; scuba diving under the plunge pools of large waterfalls on McKinley Creek in Haines, Alaska, and suction dredging (basically a big vacuum hose) the surface below.
The cast of Gold Rush: White Water
Rock-Lock
In season three, episode thirteen, The crew encounters an issue that hinders their goal of getting to bedrock gold. The hindrance is called “Rock Lock.” Over many years, the raging waters of McKinley Creek carry material, including gold-rich gravels, small and medium-sized rocks, and massive boulders down the creek. This all piles up in the plunge pool below as it tumbles over a waterfall. The material is then compressed down by the pounding water of the falls. As a result, the rocks get locked into place.
The Keystone
It becomes a struggle for the diver to move any of the rocks out of the way. The only way to move the pile of stones is to find the one “keystone” rock that unlocks the boulders. Once that one keystone rock is found and removed, it is more easy work to move the remaining stones. It hit me, rock-lock is what happens to so many people in so many areas of life. Rock-lock happens in relationships; it happens in organizations, and it can happen to an individual’s personal life.
Like a raging river, life is continuously flowing, many times at a torrent pace. Circumstance, crisis, poor choices, bad breaks happen, and like boulders, life can pile up and make us feel locked. But what if one keystone decision or action could unlock the area of your life? What if one move could make it easier to dispatch all the boulders, exposing the gold that lays on the bedrock of your relationship, your organization, your life?
My Experience With Rock-Lock
In 2012, I went through a leadership struggle. The pace of life and leadership was moving at a rapids pace. A situation with a staff member here (boulder), a re-org of a department there (rock), unresolved issues from the past (stones), and some deficiencies in my emotional intelligence piled up. Add in a bit of pressure, and life and leadership compressed to the point where I was stuck. I was rock-locked. Reflecting on that season, I see now that there was one keystone discovery that unlocked my leadership and allowed me to begin moving the boulders that had piled up. That keystone, for me, was empathy.
I realized that I was significantly under leveraging the emotional skill of empathy. I started working on increasing that one emotional skill and my leadership momentum unlocked, liberated to be able to continue “dredging” the potential of my leadership influence.
The tool that helped me discover that I was under-leveraging empathy is call EQ-i 2.0. I am now a certified EQ-i Coach.
What About You?
So what about you? What if one decision or action could unlock your leadership, your marriage, your business, or your organization? Rock-lock happens, the fix is to patiently and deliberately search for the keystone. When you find it, you are on your way to bedrock.
I would love to hear your thoughts and stories of how you have seen this principle in your life. You can share your thoughts in the comment section below.
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Does this situation sound familiar? You’re in a conversation where you, as the leader of a team, process an idea, finding out only a few days later that someone has taken an initiative to start working on something that was only an idea. Or maybe you are the team member who thought something your leader shared was ready to be executed, only to find, after hours of hard work, that your leader had no intention of it to be completed. What happened?
What happened is a pervasive communication issue. On any team, certain personality types tend to live in the “what if?”, what could be, future tense. Other personalities are very comfortable, planted in the here, and now present tense. This gap can cause a breakdown in communication. Here is a simple tool that can help resolve this issue. It’s called Provisional, Plan, Promise.
Source: GiANT Worldwide, LP
Provisional
What’s being discussed is no more than verbal processing. It’s ideation and shaping how the future could look. However, nothing said is intended to be a final decision.
Plan
What’s being discussed is going to happen. Due diligence and pre-work are complete, and unless something significant or unforeseen happens, the plan is ready for execution.
Promise
A guarantee that what’s decided is going to happen regardless of any circumstance. As it’s said, “come hell or high water,” it will happen.
By using Provisional, Plan, Promise, clarity comes to topics of discussion. As a leader, when discussing an idea, one could say, “This is only provisional. We are throwing ideas out there to see what sticks.” A leader could also state, “This is the plan. We are moving forward with this idea. And, unless something happens to derail the plan, we are moving forward.” Promise emphasizes the absolute certainty of the plan.
The Provisional, Plan, Promise tool allows for the verbal processors to speak openly without concern of being held to an idea. It also allows those who feel the weight of execution to relax and participate in ideation, knowing it will be evident when the plan is ready for implementation. Most importantly, it eliminates confusion and frustration that can happen when team members are operating on different assumptions.
The coronavirus has caused life to look different over the past couple of weeks. As a result, like me, maybe working exclusively remotely for the first time for an extended period, and it can be a bit disorienting.
The lines that loosely defined the start and end of a traditional workday are blurred now more than ever. The kitchen table where you eat your breakfast and dinner now plays double duty as your desk or work station. Instead of an environment filled with peers and colleagues, who may, at times, act childish, you are continuously interrupted by your real children. And let’s face it, there is a daily temptation to replace appropriate office attire with “comfy” clothes. Even regular grooming acts of shaving for guys and applying make-up for the ladies seem less critical.
But don’t let the acclamation to this new environment cause you to back away or slow down in your forward progress. You can still be highly productive in this season, but it may take more effort and intentionality. Here are three strategies that will assist you in being productive while settling into your temporary new normal.
1. Be Consistent
Your work environment may have changed, and the work you are doing may even be different, but you have the choice to be consistent in the things that you control. Create a new rhythm. It may look slightly different, especially if you have young children you are also caring for at the same time, but make it compatible with your new work environment. Here are are few things to consider.
Wake up at your regularly set time. You may actually find that you need a bit more time in the morning to get your workspace arranged.
Keep a morning routine that you are familiar with; quiet time, reading, exercise, breakfast, etc.
Get ready as if you are “going into the office.” Shower, put on something other than pajamas or sweat pants.
Set regular working hours. Set a start and a finish to your day. Take a lunch and coffee breaks.
2. Be Persistent
James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, says, “The most useful form of patience is persistence. Patience implies waiting for things to improve on their own. Persistence implies keeping your head down and continuing to work when things take longer than you expect.” Who knows how long we will be dealing with the effects of COVID 19. It seems like there are new assumptions made with every news cycle. We can not control the timeline of this crisis. What we can control is the effort we are going to put into moving forward with our responsibilities, our dreams, and our lives.
Focus not only on the urgent. Maintain work and persistence around those things that are also important. You may find that you have extra time during this season. Are there some large projects that you have found it hard to work on because of time? Maybe now is the opportunity to make progress. Is there a book you have wanted to write or a blog that you have wanted to start? What if the “Stay At Home” mandates are actually an unexpected gift of time? Don’t patiently wait for things to get back to normal. Be persistent to be ready to excel in the new post-COVID 19 normal.
3. Be Interdependent
One of the hardest realities of being forced to work remotely is the loss of the organic socializing that happens in an office, retail, or any other work environment. When business meetings and interactions have transitioned to primarily happening via video conferencing and phone calls, it could be easy to avoid these same mediums for relational connections. However, it is essential to leverage technology in new ways to lean into relationships. This is especially crucial for social extraverts. Intentionally simulate some phone calls or video chats with friends for the sole purpose of being relational. Set up some online coffee connections to talk about things you would usually talk about with your co-workers.
“Social separation” will probably end up being the slogan of 2020. But, maybe the focus should be called “Physical separation,” and a concentration of intentional digital “social connection” be a driving objective during this time. The current reality of COVID 19 will pass, and life will return to normal or some version of normal. Many of us will soon re-occupy an office, cubicle, or workspace. But in the meantime, you can stay productive by focusing on being consistent, persistent, and interdependent.
The current reality of COVID 19 will pass, and life will return to normal or some version of normal. Many of us will soon re-occupy an office, cubicle, or workspace. But in the meantime, you can stay productive by focusing on being consistent, persistent, and interdependent.
I often am asked about the books I read. So, here is the list of books that I read in 2019. The ones that stand out, I have italicized and put in bold.
Physical Books
Irresistible — Andy Stanley
Ego is the Enemy — Ryan Holiday
Playing to Win — Langley Martin
Transforming Prayer — Daniel Henderson
Moonwalking With Einstein — Joshua Foer
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work — John Gottman
Work Rules — Laszlo Bock
Lead with Story — Paul Smith
The Checklist Manifesto — Atul Gawande
Excellence Wins — Horst Shulze
Find Your Way — Carly Fiorina
Little Things Matter — Todd Smith
Leadershift — John C. Maxwell
Fully Alive — Ken Davis
Mastermind Dinners — Jayson Gaignard
The Seven Decisions — Andy Andrews
Chop Wood, Carry Water — Joshua Medcalf
Pound the Stone — Joshua Medcalf
Transformational Leadership — Joshua Medcalf
The Connector’s Advantage — Michelle Tillis Lederman
The Connector’s Way — Patrick Galvin
Burn Your Goals — Joshua Medcalf, Jamie Gilbert
The Future of Leadership — Joshua Medcalf and Seth Mattison
Hustle — Joshua Medcalf
Ego is the Enemy — Ryan Holiday — (so good I read it twice)
The Bottom of the Pool — Andy Andrews
Atomic Habits — James Clear– (read in 2018 as well. So Good!)
After 50 Years of Ministry… — Bob Russell
The Obstacle is the Way — Ryan Holiday
The Storyteller’s Secret — Carmine Gallo
Start With Your People — Brian Dixon
Bet On Talent — Deanne Turner
The Big Lead — Gay Hendricks
The Power of Positive Leadership — Jon Gordon
The Pioneers — David McCullough
God and Starbucks — Vin Baker
How To Lead In a World of Distraction — Clay Scroggins
Bigger Faster Leadership — Samuel Chand
Know What You’re FOR — Jeff Henderson
Leading Change Without Losing It — Carey Nieuwhof
The 100X Leader — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram
Indistractable — Nir Eyal — 12.18.19
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry — John Mark Comer
Extraordinary Influence — Tim Irwin
5 Gears — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram
5 Voices — Jeremie Kubicek & Steve Cockram
Audio Books
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos — Jordan B. Peterson Are You Fully Charged? — Tom Rath I Declare War — Levi Lusko Mastery — Robert Greene Digital Minimalism — Cal Newport Lead Yourself First — Raymond Kethledge Couples Guide to Emotional Intelligence — Jamie. Bryce The Dichotomy of Leadership — Jocko Willink & Leif Babin Take Charge of Your Life — Jim Rohn The Art of Exceptional Living — Jim Rohn The Power of Ambition — Jim Rohn What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast — Laura Vanderkam Work Clean — Dan Charnas Stress Less Accomplish More — Emily Fletcher The Alter Ego Effect — Todd Herman Thanks for the Feedback — Douglas Stone and Shelia Heen Scaling Up Excellence The Traveler’s Gift — Andy Andrews I Will Teach You To Be Rich — Ramit Sethi Super Thinking — Gabriel Weinberg, Lauren McCann Adversaries into Allies — Big Burg Every Tool’s a Hammer — Adam Savage Range — David Epstein The Wright Brothers — David McCullough Legacy — James Kerr The Promise of a Pencil — Adam Braun The Culture Code — Daniel Coyle Shoe Dog — Phil Knight Stillness is the Key — Ryan Holiday The Lost World of Genesis One — John Walton 1776 — David McCullough Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now — Jaron Lanier You Are Awesome — Neil Pasricha The Lost World of Adam and Eve — John Walton, N.T. Wright
So that is the list. I already have a stack of books for 2020, but I would love suggestions for books that you think I should read.
Charles “Tremendous” Jones said, “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I know the books I have read this past year have changed me, and I look forward to continuing to grow this new year. Wishing the same for you!
It’s a new year. Are you ready for it? Have you already made plans, created resolutions, set goals for what you want to accomplish?
In the last installment of Provertivity, “More Than A Wish,” I gave three steps you can take to set yourself on the path of success for this new year. If you followed what was prescribed, you should have a pretty rock solid plan entering into this year.
There’s just one problem. Having a plan and carrying out that plan are two different animals. Helmuth von Moltke, a Prussian military commander, said: “No battle plan ever survives first contact with the enemy.” Unfortunately, the first enemy that you are going to face, stares at you every time you look in a mirror. You are going to come to a face to face altercation with your own inertia and natural resistance to change. What you do to overcome these self-defeating enemies will determine how successful your plan will be.
Here are two strategies that I have personally used, that have helped me overcome myself and regularly accomplish my goals.
Overload your effort at the start
How we start something new makes or breaks everything that comes after. This is true in relationships, it is true in business, and it is true with new goals and habits. When we start anything new, it is going to feel strange and uncomfortable. That’s a big problem because we are wired to resist things that are strange and uncomfortable.
To get past the doubt, you’re likely to feel at the beginning of a new habit or discipline, fill your time with as much activity as possible related to that new habit or discipline.
There are probably a few of us who have made getting in better shape part of our plan for this year. You may have already signed up for a gym membership. Did you know that only around twenty-nine percent of people who sign up for a gym membership are actively using their membership after six months?
But, here’s the good news. Studies have shown that people who use their gym more than eight times within the first month of signing up tend to keep going. By overloading effort at the beginning, when their enthusiasm was high, they saw some improvement and some success and continued going.
Did you know that when space shuttles launched, they used two million pounds of solid fuel and 500,000 gallons of liquid fuel to get into orbit. Guess how much it uses for the rest of a mission. Less than 300,000 gallons of liquid fuel. Once the space shuttle reached orbit, the momentum from liftoff and the gravitational pull of the earth would keep it in orbit for the rest of its mission.
Use this as a lesson for any new activity or habit you are trying to incorporate into your plan for this year. Give as much effort as you can for the next 30 days until you break through the inertia. Once you do, you will create momentum and need to use less energy to keep the new activity or habit moving forward.
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Win your fight through
I learned this concept after reading Jason Selk and Tom Bartow’s book “Organize Tomorrow Today.” It is language that my wife Lisa and I use all the time. It is common for us to celebrate winning our fight through when we know that one of us has finished a habit or daily discipline that we did not want to do that day.
We all have days when we just don’t have the desire to accomplish the habits we have put as part of our plan. This is when you have to struggle against yourself and win your fight through. When the alarm goes off (5 a.m. for me), and hitting the snooze alarm would be so easy, win your fight through. When it’s raining outside and getting soaking wet to accomplish a morning run does not seem worth it, win your fight through. When the calories in one homemade dessert that a coworker brings in the office don’t seem like a big set back to your weightless plan, win your fight through.
It’s not going to be enough only to do the work when you feel inspired or excited about your goals. To reach your envisioned tomorrow, you will have to work on your goals even when you’d rather be doing anything but working on your goals. To win, you have to finish. Napoleon Hill said it well, “Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.”
The quickest way to create momentum is to start! Start today. Overload your effort. When you don’t feel like doing it, remind yourself, “I have to win my fight through.”
