by James Duvall | Aug 17, 2018 | Personal Development, Productivity, Self Leadership
Thanks for checking out another installment of Provertivity, where I take a proverb or wise saying and combine it with a productivity principle. I really appreciate your comments and encouragement. If you have a proverb/wise saying that you would want to be considered for a future blog post, add it to the comments below.
I love the book of Proverbs. It is full of wisdom for today. Proverb 15:22 is a great proverb. I like how another version of this proverb reads,
Your plans will fall apart right in front of you if you fail to get good advice. But if you first seek out multiple counselors, you’ll watch your plans succeed.” We all want to find success. Whether that is in our relationships, business, finances, or health, the goal is to succeed, not fail.
My wife Lisa and I have the privilege of working with couples who are getting ready for marriage. One of the first things we share with them is this proverb. Why, because we know that marriage is beautiful but sometimes challenging. Having wise counsel when things get tough or when new seasons emerge is so vital to the success of a marriage relationship and any other endeavor in which we invest ourselves.
You have probably heard the adage, “Learn from mentors or learn from mistakes.” I have personally found it less painful and more productive to learn from mentors. There is a perspective that comes with experience. And failure to tap into that perspective will, as the proverb says, lead to failed plans.
Here’s some hard truth; You are good, but probably not good enough to make it on your ingenuity alone. Everyone needs other people who have greater wisdom or insight. We all need the voice of those who have previously traveled the road we are on to help us avoid the pitfalls that may lie ahead.
Nothing can kill effectiveness and forward progress like doing things inefficiently or making bad decisions that cost time and resources. You can have the grandest plans but have weak strategies and systems to make them happen. Having the right counsel can increase the odds of success.
The proverb says that with “many advisors” there is success. So, here are five types of advisors that you can leverage as you move forward in your life.
Accountability Partner
Everyone needs accountability. We all need checks and balances to push us to be our best self. A lack of personal accountability can lead to the inevitable and sometimes devastating consequences that result from living an unhealthy and unchecked life. An accountability partner will call you out on broken promises and the failure to keep commitments. Making yourself accountable to trusted people can be a safety net from making wrong decisions that lead to failure.
Mentor/Coach
As Bill Gates put it, “Everyone needs a coach.” The good news is that coaching is becoming increasingly more accessible. A coach is going to be objective, knowledgeable, skilled in listening, and someone who cares. A good coach will ask the right questions and sometimes the hard questions. A good coach will provide honest feedback and helpful insight. The right coach can be a guide in providing the direction and tools needed for growth and finding the right path forward. You may need a coach for a specific area where you are hitting a lid or in areas where you do not see the growth you desire. These could be in areas like spiritual growth, health, finances, relationships or productivity.
Counselor/Therapist
You may be thinking, isn’t a counselor and a coach the same thing. No. A coach focuses on helping people achieve their goals, giving motivation for, and creating plans for change. A counselor works with people to solve the problems that make them feel bad emotionally or keep them from functioning well. There are times when we need to get help overcoming issues from our history that hold us back from moving forward into our destiny. Anxiety, depression, and many other emotional matters require the services of a trained professional counselor to move forward.
Expert
Who are the people already doing what you want to do at a higher level than what you are currently doing it? For most of us, we will never have the opportunity to meet and get direct counsel from these people in a face to face setting. However, many experts make their counsel and advice readily accessible through the books they have written, blogs and podcasts that they have posted online and seminars that they teach. Today, you can leverage most experts on demand, twenty-four, seven.
Wise Sage
Merriam-Webster defines a sage as a person of great understanding of people and of situations and an unusual discernment and judgment in dealing with them. A wise sage is a person farther down the road than you who has through reflection and experience, greater wisdom and insight about life and how to be successful at it. When I think of a wise sage, I think of Mr. Myogi from the Karate Kid movies. More than teaching Daniel LaRusso karate, he taught him how to live a better life (wax on wax off).
Life can be challenging and complicated at times. Getting the right voices around you is so important if you are going to succeed. History is littered with people who failed due to inadequate or no counsel. Recently I heard Brian Houston, Senior Pastor of Hillsong Church say, “There is a big difference between opinion and good counsel. Opinion is forced on you; counsel is invited.” I encourage you to think about the “advisors” you have around you. Maybe it is time to add to your “many advisors” and invite the voice of an accountability partner, coach, counselor, expert or wise sage to speak into your reality and enjoy the success that results from the input.
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by James Duvall | Jul 9, 2018 | Personal Development, Self Leadership
Recently, my pastor spoke an incredible message on the power of declarations. A declaration is statement, not of what is, but of what will be. The Bible is full of declarations made over individuals; David, Gideon, Peter to name a few. Declarations are powerful because our words are powerful. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit — you choose.” The words we choose to speak over our lives determine our destiny.
I have been using personal declarations as part of my daily disciplines for the past two years. I have personally witnessed the transformation that happens through declaring what will be in the midst of what is. I am confident that anyone can create and experience the power of making persona declarations in their life by following these five steps.
STEP 1: CHOOSE WHERE YOU WANT TO CHANGE, GROW, LEVERAGE OR IMPROVE.
Where are the places in your life where you want more, desire more significant impact, or you feel stuck? These are places to focus and build declaration statements around. Where do you want to see change in your life, relationships, finances? Are there negative thoughts or past failures that wear at your confidence and self-esteem keeping you feeling defeated? What hopes and dreams do you have for the future? Are you the person you want to be?
These are the types of questions to ask yourself as you begin the process of creating your declarations. I have found that using the framework of my life domains when creating or editing my declarations is helpful. I like the six F’s; “Faith, Family, Fitness, Fun, Faculty (Work) and Finances.” that Rory Vaden shares in Procrastinate on Purpose: 5 Permissions to Multiply Your Time. Each one of my daily declarations, declares the person I am becoming in one of these areas.
Right now, as an action item, take out a piece of paper, take a few minutes and write out some areas in each of the domains of your life where you want to change, grow, or improve. These could include the way you are as a spouse, a parent, a provider. They could be things that point to your health. Whatever they are, these will be the building blocks for your declarations.
STEP 2: CRAFT YOUR DECLARATIONS
This will take the most time as you want to make sure that your declarations are structured in a way to transform your thinking. Here are a few things to consider when structuring your declarations.
Make your declarations personal:
Remember these statements are for you. They are not for anyone else. You are going to declare these over your life. Start each statement with the singular first-person personal pronoun “I.”
Make your declarations in the present tense:
The second word in your declarations should be “am.” There may be occasions where”have” or “will” work better as the second word. Remember, you are declaring who you will be or where you will be, not who you are now or your current situation. Declarations are faith statements. You are declaring what will be as what is. Remember“…faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1
Make your declarations positive:
Use big, positive, empowering adjectives to declare who you are becoming. I use words like great, blessed, and highly successful. Remember these are your declarations. This is not the time to be meek and humble. This is the time to be bold and call out the person you want to be or the outcome you want to achieve. As a note, you may want to stay away from superlatives. There is a big difference between saying you are great or you are the greatest at something.
Make your declarations descriptive:
Don’t stop at merely stating who you want to be or what you want to achieve. Add phrases that describe what the declared reality looks like. These statements will begin to shape the way you act, which will, in turn, move you toward your desired destination.
One of my daily declarations is “I am a great husband.” That statement by itself does not say much. However, I describe the actions that define what being a great husband to Lisa looks like… “I intentionally look for ways to cherish Lisa by taking advantage of opportunities to serve her (her love language), surprising her with unexpected gifts and planning special experiences. Finally, I describe the desired response from Lisa, “Lisa esteems me as her loving and faithful soulmate.”
Make your declarations meaningful:
Your declarations should stir your emotions. They should cause you to well up with a sense of resolve, confidence, and excitement of who you are becoming. If a declaration does not inspire you to be your best self, I would encourage you to scrap it.
STEP 3: STORE YOUR DECLARATIONS IN AN EASILY ACCESSIBLE PLACE
It seems like common sense, but as we all know, common sense is not common practice. So, if don’t have a plan for where you will store your declarations, you will probably have to regularly look for them. If they are not easily accessible, the chances of you leveraging them are slim to none. As the old adage goes, “out of sight out of mind.”
There are several smartphone applications that are specifically geared for writing and accessing affirmations. You can experiment with them to see if one works for you. Search your smartphone app store for “affirmations”, and you will find a substantial list.
I keep it pretty simple by keeping mine in a note in Evernote. I keep that note as a favorite in Evernote. So every morning, wherever I am, I can open my phone and quickly get to my declarations. You could even go old-school, analog and write them or print them out on paper and tape them to the inside of a journal or Bible. The point is to keep them very accessible so that you can quickly get to them on a daily basis.
STEP 4: READ YOUR DECLARATIONS DAILY
There is power in repetition. The act of consistently reading (out loud) your declarations will begin to shape your mindset and align your actions toward the person you are becoming. I prefer to read my declarations at the start of my day as part of my morning quite time routine. However, don’t limit this exercise to one time a day. You may want to state your declarations at times when you are feeling vulnerable. They will be valuable at times when you need a boost in your confidence. They can be used to pick you up at times when you may have failed to lived up to your best self, and need to be reminded of the person you are becoming. You can never leverage your declarations too often.
STEP 5: BE ON THE LOOK OUT!
I have been amazed as things happen in my life that relate directly to the declarations I have made. You may have heard of The Law of Attraction. It says that we attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. We have all experienced it at some time in our life. Have you ever been looking to purchase something like a specific car? Maybe you are thinking about buying a red Subaru, and it everywhere you look, you see red Subarus. Probably nothing mystical about it. You have probably passed red Subarus every day of your life. But now, you see them everywhere due to your mind being focused on and sensitive to spotting them. It is no different for the outcomes that we experience in our lives. As you begin making your declarations, you will be focused and sensitive to seeing them fulfilled. Be on the lookout! What you declare with your mouth will become a reality in your life.
Declarations have changed my life for the good. As a result of speaking declarations, on a daily basis, over my life I am a stronger Christ follower and a better husband, father, leader, and friend. I want to challenge you to take the time to go through the steps outlined and experience the power of declarations for yourself.
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by James Duvall | Jun 20, 2018 | Personal Development, Self Leadership
This past week I had the opportunity to speak at church to a new group of interns during their summer experience. There could have been so many topics I could have talked to these young leaders about that could have added significant value. I thought I would put in a post the content of the direction I decided to go. I felt a call to vocational ministry when I was fifteen years old. At the time I thought my calling would lead me to a life of real impact (stardom) through music. After graduating high school, I packed up my ’79 Plymouth Duster and headed to Nashville, TN, the promised land of music wannabes. After starting my college career in Nashville, I quickly realized that a dynamic singing voice came a dime a dozen. At about that same time, I began serving in an inner-city ministry to students. I really found what I thought was a sweet-spot working with those students and as God stirred in my heart, I decided to change my major from Music Business to Christian Education. After meeting and marrying my wife, Lisa while at college, we left Nashville and served in student ministry at a church in Ohio and then in Kansas before coming to Christ Fellowship in 1996. I was a young, confident student pastor stepping into a ministry position at a church, that was at that time, the largest church I had personally ever been a part of. Wow, if I had the opportunity for a do-over in some areas, I would take it in a heartbeat.
THREE THINGS I BELIEVED BACK THEN:
1. Personal growth was something that just happened over time.
Looking back, I placed a lot of trust in my calling and natural abilities. I believed that they would sustain me for my entire ministry career. I was too nearsighted (focused on the moment) when I should have been much more horizon focused (looking toward the future). I also acted as if I had an unfair advantage to all my peers. I mean come on, I was on staff with Tom Mullins and Dr. John C. Maxwell. I think I must have believed that mere proximity was all I need to grow. I didn’t read all the free John Maxwell leadership books that I received as a staff member at Christ Fellowship. Why would I, I had probably heard Dr. Maxwell teach the content in a staff meeting or at one of the conferences that he held at the church. Wow, what a faulty belief.
2. I had all the time in the world.
I was young. I was just starting out in my ministry calling. There was no timetable to accomplish the dreams I had. I never worried that time could run out on those dreams and ambitions. I believed that the people who needed to worry about that kind of stuff were those who were in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. Their time was running out. Okay, now that I am in my mid forty’s, I look back at that snotty nosed kid and think you were so wrong!
3. Reading books was a waste of time.
This may be a reason why all those free John Maxwell leadership books never got read in my twenty’s and thirty’s. I now realize I had a severe case of “EXCUSE-ITIS.” There were all kinds of “legitimate” excuses for why reading books was not something I could do.One really good excuse was that life was busy and who had time to sit around all day reading books. And seriously, after a hard day of “ministering” to people, I needed veg-time on the couch with my good friend the television remote control. Another self-defeating excuse that I used, leveraged the fact that I have dyslexia, adding in me being a reader.
It takes me too long to get through a book, so I will just not put myself through the pain of reminding myself of how slow I am. There were probably more excuses that I used.I was sneezing excuses all over the place. All I know is that I had a bookshelf of unopened treasure sitting in my office.
THREE THINGS I KNOW NOW:
So, if I could go back and tell my twenty-ish self a few things, here are three things that if I had known, would have propelled me farther than I am today.
1. Personal growth demands continual self-leadership.
The difference between people who maintain a continued upward trajectory in their leadership and those who flatline is self-leadership. Early in our leadership careers, success is based primarily on execution. The better you are at executing a role, the more promotion you receive. However, there comes a day when someone younger, quicker, smarter, or more talented than you will come along and be able to do what you do better than you. The thing that will set you apart and help you expand your leadership longevity is going to be how intentional you were at developing yourself. By being diligent about self-leadership, you move from influence as a result of execution, to influence as a result of who you are as an individual.
“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” — Abraham Maslow
Self-Awareness is the beginning of real growth. You can’t know the path to get to where you want to go if you don’t first know where you are. A great place to begin the journey of self-awareness is through the use of assessment tools like DISC, Meyers Briggs, Enneagram and EQ-i 2.0. Another powerful tool for self-awareness is honest feedback from those who know you best and love you most. On your quest for personal development, it is crucial to adopt a growth mindset.
There are 2 different mindsets; fixed mindset and growth mindset to describe the underlying beliefs people have about learning. You have a growth mindset when you believe you can get smarter, you understand that effort makes you stronger you will put in extra time and effort to pursue higher achievement.
Stay curious (Google everything)! Don’t discount the ideas of other too quickly thinking it could be too old-fashioned, or not relevant. Some of the best teaching on personal growth is going to come from mentors that are no longer living. Let me introduce you to one of those people, Jim Rohn who said the following about self-leadership.
“The most important question to ask is, what am I becoming?” – Jim Rohn
“Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. If you work hard on your job, you can make a living, but if you work hard on yourself, you’ll make a fortune.” — Jim Rohn
2. Time is your most valuable commodity
Unlike money, time is a nonrenewable and nontransferable commodity. Once it is used, it’s gone. Once it is used, it’s gone. A.W. Tozer wrote, “Time is a resource that is non-renewable and nontransferable. You cannot store it, slow it up, hold it up, divide it up or give it up. You can’t hoard it up or save it for a rainy day – when it’s lost it’s unrecoverable. When you kill time, remember that it has no resurrection.” In case you did not know, every single human being gets the same allotment of time, twenty-four hours a day, one hundred and sixty-eight hours a week. It doesn’t matter how rich or how poor, how educated or uneducated, we all have the same…no more no less. Kevin Kruse, in his book 15 Secrets Successful People Know About Time Management says, “Time is unique because it’s the one true equalizer.” This is why you need to learn how to do three strategic things with your time.
- Prioritize it!: What are the most important things that you need to do to accomplish your responsibilities, complete your goals and fulfill your dreams? Using a tool like the Eisenhower matrix is an excellent framework to start identifying those things.
- Protect it!: Did you know that every day you could be getting robbed and not even realize it is happening? It is true! Without adequate protection, thieves will rob you blind of your time. A great process to put guardrails around your priorities is through a tool called time blocking. Like a budget gives a purpose for every dollar you make, time blocking gives a use for all the time in your day, week, month and year. If you don’t protect your time, it will be stolen by something or someone else.
- Maximize it!: Highly productive people focus on minutes instead of hours. You can start doing the same. Thinking in smaller units of time will enable you to maximize your time.
One way to maximize your time is by compressing the amount of time that you give to meetings, projects, and tedious activities. There is a law called the Parkinson’s Law that states work expands to fill the time available for it completion definition. So, If you give something 3 hours to do, it will take you the entire 3 hours to complete. But if you give the same project 30 minutes to do, you will get it done in 30 minutes. Compress 60-minute meetings to 45 minutes and 30-minute sessions to 20 minutes. This one small change will allow you to maximize your time.
3. The single most effective strategy for personal growth is a regular, disciplined reading habit.
“You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” — Charlie “Tremendous” Jones
There is no other practice that I know of that has the overwhelming benefits to a persons life and leadership than the habit of consistently reading books. Here are ten proven benefits from reading books.
- Reading make your mind stronger – The brain is a muscle and reading keeps your mind active preventing it from becoming weak and unhealthy. Mental stimulation can prevent dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.
- Reading improves your verbal and written communication skills – AAs you read you learn new ways to form sentences, share ideas and express emotions.
- Reading makes you smarter –All the bits of information fill your brain and you never know when that information may come in handy. Knowledge equips you to overcome any challenge may face.
- Reading improves your vocabulary –You are introduced to new words, phrases and expressions. Just today, my wife Lisa made the comment about how she had to look up words she didn’t know in a book she is reading.
- Reading improves your memory – With every new memory you create new brain connections (synapses) and fortify existing ones.
- Reading enhances critical thinking skills – You make decisions every day and some of them are critical. The requirement of reading for a person to think through and process information strengthens critical thinking.
- Reading improves focus and concentration – Reading requires your mind to dial in on what is being said through the text. This discipline carries over into other aspects of daily life.
- Reading builds self-esteem – Did you know that If you were to read three books about a topic, you would know more about that topic than 99% of the population. That would make you an expert. How is that for building self-esteem?
- Reading makes you more interesting
- People who are well read can recall stories, illustrations, history, funny antidotes, and information about all kinds of topics.
- Reading it the ultimate leadership differentiator – It’s a sad reality that only one in four Americans read a single book in the last year. Just think how reading a book a month could separate you from the pack as a leader. Not all readers lead, but all leaders read!
If you want to start the discipline of reading. I would encourage you to focus on reading a small number of pages per day that you know you can accomplish. Ten pages is a good starting point. If you commit to reading ten pages each day, you will read around 12 to 13 books in one year. If you are not sure what books to read, I have a lot of the books that I have personally read listed in my RESOURCES with Amazon links for each. The most critical step to creating the habit of reading it to start. I know it is impossible to go back in time and talk to myself and to hope that I would take my advice and act on it. But, I know it is possible that after reading this post, you could take my advice and start growing yourself, prioritizing, protecting and maximizing your time, and begin the daily discipline of reading books. I leave you with one last quote…
“My father used to say that it’s never too late to do anything you wanted to do. And he said, ‘You never know what you can accomplish until you try.'” — Michael Jordan
by James Duvall | Feb 7, 2016 | Personal Development, Self Leadership
Have you ever been shortchanged? You know, you’re at the store paying cash for a purchase and realizing after leaving the store that you were overcharged or did not receive the correct change. Or you pull away from a drive through only to realize that your complete order is not in the bag. We all know how that feels to one extent or another. It makes us angry, frustrated, disappointed, maybe even confused, thinking that we may have had made a mistake. Regardless, it is not cool to be shortchanged.
A few days ago, something happened to me that made me think about being shortchanged. The sad thing is, I shortchanged myself. I love cycling. It is my cardio exercise of choice. I typically try to get 20 to 30 miles in every time I go for a ride. On this particular day, my goal was to get 20 miles. I am blessed to live pretty close to the ocean, and the route I ride takes me along the beach. There are, however, a couple of bridges that I have to travel over during my trek. Now, this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but two of the bridges are drawbridges, and the surface of these bridges are metal grating. When it has rained, and these bridges get wet, they can be very slippery. Because of past experiences of fishtailing across the bridges, I have a consistent anxiety every time I have to ride over one of them. So, I came over the first bridge, and when I arrived at the intersection, where I would take a right turn to continue my ride, I decided to make a left turn instead and avoid the second bridge. Not a big deal! I will take a different route.
After cruising on my new chosen course for a while, it became apparent that I was not going to hit my 20-mile goal before I reached my final destination. That is when it hit me; I just shortchanged my progress. Instead of riding 20 miles, I rode 15.5 miles. After my ride, I starting thinking about what riding 4.5 fewer miles could potentially mean to my fitness. I not only shortened the distance of my journey, but I also reduce the amount of time I exercised and shortchanged my caloric output by 300 calories. Again, doesn’t seem like a big deal, right? However, compounded over time, a small insignificant decision has significant consequences. I try to cycle three to four times a week. Three hundred calories multiplied by four days equals 1200 calories multiplied by 52 weeks equals 62,400 calories or almost 18 pounds of potential weight loss/gain.
In his book, The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success, Darren Hardy, states that small, smart choices plus consistency plus time equal radical difference (p.10). We witness this in many areas of life. The little decisions we day in and day out can determine our future. One of our leadership values at Christ Fellowship is that we are Faithful In the Small Things. We know that as a person is faithful, day in and day out, the compounding effect over time is an individual who earns trust to have greater responsibility and influence. Jesus, says these very same words in the parable of the faithful servants, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities.” Matthew 25:23. But let’s face it, when we want to do big, important things, it can be difficult to be faithful in small, seemingly insignificant tasks. There is the gravity-like pull to try and take an easier route to leadership and influence. However, it is in the consistency over time of doing the small things, making the small choices that compound and build the character, maturity, and resilience to lead at higher levels. Eric Greitens, in his book, Resilience: Hard Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life, say, “What you will become is a result of what you are willing to endure.”
So, when you arrive at the intersection and have the opportunity to turn and continue the journey to the leadership and influence ahead of you or turn the opposite way, don’t shortchange yourself. Turn right!
