They’re Not Acting Like Themselves!

Have you seen the Snickers bar commercials where the young millennial guy is acting more like Betty White on the football field? Or the 2015 Super bowl commercial where Marsha from the Brady Bunch is behaving more like Sons of Anarchy actor Danny Trejo more than herself? Then they are handed a Snickers bar and told, “Eat a Snickers.” Why? “You are not you when you are hungry.” Several years ago, my pastors Todd and Julie Mullins, took that idea and turned it into a communication and conflict resolution tool for our staff. 

We all have times when we act or respond contrary to our better self. Resulting from pressure, fatigue, or (let’s be honest) hunger, our best self turns into someone different than the person we want to be, or we want others to experience. Because we’ve all experienced these lapses in how people experience us, we can fill the gap between how another person responds or acts, that is out of character and the way he or she would generally act or react when at their best. It is the difference between a snapshot picture and a movie. One frame does not make the movie. Neither does one inadequate response or season of acting out of sorts tell the entire story of a person’s character.

Enter the Snickers bar. In the leadership culture at Christ Fellowship, when a teammate has acted differently than what is true of who they are,  a Snickers bar can be used to initiate a conversation with that person. The candy bar signals that there’s about to be a courageous conversation addressing how the person has acted or responded in a recent situation. It also forecasts that the individual bringing the Snickers bar knows how the person responded to the situation is not how they would typically respond. The Snickers bar reveals the individual’s desire to call up the best in their colleague.

The size of the offense or issue will also determine the size of the Snickers bar. Small items require a mini Snickers bar. Something a bit more profound would call for a full-size Snickers bar. However, there may be an issue so significant that a one-pound Snickers Slice ‘N Share Candy Bar can only suffice. No! In all seriousness, if something is that big of a topic, it probably has passed the limits of the Snickers bar.

I often say small offenses can build large fences. Having a bag a Snickers Mini’s could be just what is needed to keep minor offenses from building up in the relationships that matter most to you. So, I encourage you to use this practical tool in your marriage, with family members, and in your work relationships. Why not use it with your friends? Give each person a Snickers bar, tell them how to use it, and commit to being open to hearing “Snickers bar” conversations when you have not acted out or your best self.